


The little blue parcel of karma

by thevaliantdust



Series: Meanwhile in Whitestone [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, idk I call this one 'men are obtuse and oblivious', lady love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 04:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7493628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevaliantdust/pseuds/thevaliantdust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 2: F/F</p>
<p>Cassandra/Kaylee ftw</p>
<p>Scanlan uses his magical blue poop to check in on Kaylee. He gets more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The little blue parcel of karma

“Uh, Percy?”

Percy furrows his brow, placing his tools down with a clink. It’s not like Scanlan to seek him out in the middle of the night, especially not while he’s in his workshop-- Scanlan has far too healthy an appreciation of his own eyebrows for that. Even more strange is the choked quality to his voice, a mystery Percy cannot resist. He turns to find a wide-eyed, red-faced gnome.

“Percy-” Scanlan tries again.

“Yes, Scanlan, what is it?” 

“I, uh, I saw…”

Percy’s brow creases further as the usually verbose gnome stammers helplessly. He rubs his temples and takes a deep breath.

“Scanlan, I say this not to inflate your ego but because I am very, very busy and I’d like to conclude this matter before the sun rises. You are very good with your words. Use them.”

Scanlan nods absently, taking shaky steps backwards to find a seat. Percy tries not to visibly wince as he narrowly avoids knocking over several delicate projects. Finally perched on a stool after no small amount of wiggling, Scanlan seems to collect himself slightly.

“Start at the beginning,” Percy prompts somewhat redundantly, hoping to move things along.

“Right, yes, a very good place to start,” Scanlan rejoins, and Percy can’t help but feel he’s missed something, but lets it pass for the sake of brevity.

“Well, the last time I saw Kaylee in Khymel,” he begins, and Percy can sense himself squinting despite his best efforts. Scanlan came to him in the middle of the night to talk about something that happened weeks ago? 

“...I gave her a sword,” he continues, “which was very sweet and fatherly of me, I know.” 

Percy wishes he was wearing his mask so he could roll his eyes freely. 

“And I left a, uh, _little blue parcel_ attached to it,” he confides, which is the final straw for Percy’s tenuous hold on his composure.

“Oh Pelor above, you didn’t?!”

“I did! I’m her father, and I’m concerned for her safety!” Scanlan fires back indignantly.

Percy lays his head in his hands, shaking it all the while. “Shall I assume you checked in on her and are here to talk about what you saw?” he asks, voice laden with defeat and disbelief.

“Well. Yes.” Scanlan seems suddenly tight-lipped, which Percy thinks might actually be a hint of contrition. Maybe there is hope for the gnome yet. Still, he saw something that he obviously needs to share, so he may as well get it over with.

“Go on then, what did you see?” Percy sighs.

“She’s in Whitestone.”

Percy perks up suddenly at this revelation. At least this explains why he’s the poor fellow on the receiving end of this missive.

“Well surely that’s a good thing!” he chips in brightly, “She’ll be well taken care of there. I can write to Cassandra, if you like, ask her to keep an eye out for-”

“-that won’t be necessary.” Scanlan cuts in, with a hundred mile stare that immediately dampens Percy’s brightness.

“...Why not?” Percy asks, voice loaded with suspicion.

“Because your sister,” he begins, taking a gratuitous fortifying breath in the middle of his sentence before fixing his eyes beadily on Percy’s, “is kissing my daughter.”


End file.
